Speak to Be Heard

"You never listen" often means "I don't feel like we're a team."

Speak to Be Heard is a complete communication book for couples who keep having the same arguments, feel unheard, or have drifted into politeness instead of closeness. Across 26 chapters, counsellor Natalie Jane shows you what is really being said underneath everyday conflict, and how to talk so that both of you feel heard, including when the answer is not the one you hoped for.

This book will help you

• Stop the same argument from going round in circles
• Listen to understand, not to win, and disagree without damage
• Choose the right moment and tone for conversations that matter
• Talk about intimacy, money, housework and family without it turning into a fight
• Repair after conflict and rebuild trust

Inside

• 26 chapters, from the invisible dialogue underneath everyday arguments to rebuilding trust after betrayal
• Whole conversations shown from start to finish
• Fair fighting agreements and the Pause and Reconnect Method
• Messages, phones and screens; what is said without words
• When your partner won't take part, and when to seek couples therapy
• Companion practices, letters to read aloud, a glossary and a guide for reading groups and couples

Your download

• 268-page PDF (6 x 9 in) in British English
• Instant download straight after purchase
• Read on your phone, tablet or computer, or print for personal use

Want the exact words to use? Get Speak to Be Heard with The Reconnect Scripts and Say What You Need in The Conversation Toolkit for £19. Prefer a shorter, hands-on workbook? Try Say It So They Actually Hear You.

If you feel afraid, controlled or unsafe in your relationship, that is not something to fix with communication tips. Please contact a specialist service.

About the author

Natalie Jane is a counsellor and ICF-accredited coach who has worked with individuals and couples since 2021. She holds a Level 4 Diploma in Counselling and is the editor of The Relationship Magazine, an international publication on relational health, communication and intimacy.