Difficult Conversations: The Preparation Workbook

You have rehearsed it in the shower, in the car and at 2am. When the moment comes, the words still come out wrong.

Difficult Conversations: The Preparation Workbook shows you how to prepare for a difficult conversation step by step. You work out what happened, what you feel, what you need and what you want to ask for, then write it down in your own words, so you can say it calmly and listen without losing your position.

This workbook will help you

• Get clear on what you actually want from the conversation
• Separate the facts from the story around them
• Open the conversation well, and say less but mean more
• Stay steady when the other person gets defensive, dismissive or shuts down
• Know when to pause, and how to repair afterwards

Inside

• Safety comes before communication
• Why difficult conversations go off track
• Check your state, define your purpose, and separate facts from the story
• Name the feeling and the need underneath the argument
• Request, preference or boundary, plus timing and setting
• Build a clear opening
• Listening without abandoning yourself
• When they become defensive, dismiss, counterattack or shut down
• Boundary scripts and three worked examples, including repair after an argument
• A one-page conversation map and an after-the-conversation reflection

Your download

• 31-page A4 PDF with space to write
• Print it or fill it in on a tablet
• Written in British English
• Instant download straight after purchase, for personal use

Need help holding the line? Boundaries Without the Guilt includes 42 boundary scripts.

If you feel afraid, controlled or unsafe with the person you need to speak to, put your safety first and contact a specialist support service before you prepare any conversation. This workbook is educational. It is not therapy, legal advice or a safety plan.

About the author

Natalie Jane is a counsellor and ICF-accredited coach who supports individuals and couples through conflict, relational trauma and coercive control. She holds a Level 4 Diploma in Counselling and is the editor of The Relationship Magazine.